I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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