I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
