He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize