i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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