i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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