PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
