hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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