THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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