Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize