Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
