AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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