wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
