Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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