if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
