Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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