If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
