Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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