He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
