YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
