3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Small penises have feelings too.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
