i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Less talking, more tequila
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
