He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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