ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
