dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
