his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
