I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
