I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
