new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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