I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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