There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
