just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
