I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
