It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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