don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
