i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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