clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's always time for handjobs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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