I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
