Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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