I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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