Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
