So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
