i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
