just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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