Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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