I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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