You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Vodka?
Forever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
