You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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