I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
