Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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