this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
