He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
