tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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