So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
