Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize