How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
