did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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