i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's blow job season.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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