i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
