I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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