There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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