there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
