I think my fart just growled at me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
