im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
