Can Purell be used as lube?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
