Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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